More Morning Madness...

Dragged myself to work today... Some how my phone died when it clashed my morning alarm with an sms I hadn't read.... I whole phone hanged and more than half my battery was depleted...

I'm so broke... Borrowed money from my mum to travel... JS broke the news that we have to stick to morning shift for the whole of this week... Man... I'm so shag... Plus upset... 100 bucks flew away on this week... Sigh...

Got to get a Spyware SW to wipe out all the spyware on my bro's com...

Wen told me she's going MY with her parents then Shanghai with her colleagues...

Sigh... It's a slow long week... Must get my mother board fixed on payday...

Monday Morning Blues...

Sigh... Had to drag myself out of me bed early in the morning to work... Finally end of night shift??? Nah... We were volunteered involutarily... *LOL* Thanks to Thanksgiving holidays... The sun seemed bright and blistering in the afternoon...

Oh yeah... I met Irene today at our lab... She got transfered over to help HS... So good right? I know... She's the most fun person I had ever known... It's just like old times... But we're short of Annie...

Finally shed some light onto our new testing... Think we can carry out the test plan Wednesday night... Was sitting together with the core driver team as usual, but something felt different some how... Things didn't feel quite right... Maybe cause Jen never disturb me... Nah...

They were asking me if I wanted to join them for Xmas and New Yr... Mostly New Yr... But I wanted to see if anyone remembered my bdae... Or wanted to celebrate it for me...

I'm so silly... I forgot I told everyone I didn't want to celebrate my bdae...
Well... Think I'm gonna stay at home... It's not a bad plan after all...

How Deep is Your Love?

A friend of mine L, brought up the topic of how a butch should be treating her stead... She told us about how a bung friend of hers could be so observant and so caring towards her stead, that she never lets her stead go through any kind of hassle at all... She would peel the prawns, cut the steak, or the prata for her girlfriend, and how she got up early in the morning to make sandwiches for her stead... Okay... So she's the perfect stead... And we are nothing near that...

I was a little offended about that comment... I believe everyone of us could do something like that if we wanted... People like me would have given up trying so hard... We go all out to get that girl of our dreams, and we get nothing from it all but heart breaks...

Experience with women proved to me that they love being with people who hurt them the most... Women suffer from their stead, and yet they are not willing to leave them!!!

You maybe thinking... "What? I'm not like that... That's not me... I will never be like that!" But this logic applies to the majority... Maybe even men...

I was asking myself... How about me? Who do I love the most... The answer is a very special someone... Someone whom I loved alot, but somehow or another... Many factors kept us apart...
I always believed it was a case of wrong place, wrong time... Sigh... We all make mistakes, but we could never do enough to make up for it...

Those of you out there with a good stead... Do take good care of him or her... Or you might just regret it in the future... :)

Convent mania...

An old crush contacted me through Friendster... (",) Hee..

Come to think of it, most of my silly crushes were on STC gals... Like MF, followed by AL then Wen... But some how STC gals seem to shun me... Really sad case...

It's really funny how people relate girls' school and convents to lesbians... In fact, majority of the gals are straight... I have many friends who are married already, some with children... On the other hand, there's a handful of my friends who are crooked, but came from mixed schools... The logic of the whole idea I guess, would be more like... People who are crooked prefer to enrol into a girls' school... It's nice to be surrounded by a bunch a girls you can look at every morning in school...

Oh yah... Today's Shan's bday... Happy birthday Shan!!! :)

Teaching an old dog new tricks...

I learnt something new today...

I had a lesson on remembering birthdays, especially birthdays of your so called loved ones, or best friends...
I have 2 friends since dec 1997, who are best friends with each other for say 8 years.
This year, L did not wished Y happy birthday, and yet when L's own birthday came...
She made it a point to tell the whole world in case people forgot about it...
Y wasn't expecting presents, or company cause she knows we're all busy...
She just needs a simple sms, even a belated one will do, but L did not...

Sometimes, we get carried away in our own pursuit of life that we neglect everything else... L is someone who gets preoccupied with people who are going her way, that she forgets everyone else till she needs company... Sadly, friendship is about supporting each other along this road of life... People who need people the most cling on to their most precious friends...

Friendship is on my top most piority on my list just above my family, and people tell me things like I shouldn't do that... It's true that people are always changing, you can't be friends forever thing... Friends will only hurt you, forsake you... As if I have never been hurt by friends before... I too had been betrayed and framed by friends countless times... But I never gave up on them...

I had many friends along my road of life, who I really treasure... But some how or another, they eventually drift away from me... Perhaps it's my life long calling to be a hermit... Sitting in front of this computer... Typing away on the memoirs of my life... Sigh...

Still I wanna insist that everyone needs a friend, even those who betrayed you, those who backstabbed you... Every single soul on this planet calls out to a friend... I'm glad I've got Joy, XL, Lynn and Jasz by my side these moody days... Silver has been smsing me too, encouraging me in life... Thanks guys!!! Really don't know what I am without you... :)

Shutter madness...

LOL... Just caught the hottest ghost movie in town... Yes, it's shutter... It's surprisingly good for a Thai movie...

The movie is about a photographer and his untold relationship with a spirit that haunts him and his girlfriend... He started capturing these images of spirits on camera after a traffic accident on the road. Strange things traumatised him, his girlfriend, and his buddies...

The director keeps you at the edge of your seats with really loud and scary sound effects... I got little traumatized from the scaring though... It's a ghost movie with very little emotional stuff... Mostly scare... Truly original...

Lynn had shared with us earlier on that this film's early concept is supposed to be a political slashing movie, till they received a real spirit photo... Then they decided to go with this concept. Good... (",)

There's a scene in the beginning with the traffic accident... The actual scene was supposed to be the female actress will knock down 3 people with the car, but the actress got ready early and saw a white figure infront... So she thought the filming started and "knocked" the white fellow down... Feeling puzzled there's only 1 person... She asked the director...

Girl: I thought I'm supposed to knock down 3 people?
Director: Yah, they're still making up in the dressing room...

Shocked right? That was a real spook... The scene they used in the movie only 1... Maybe it's the real spook scene... :P

Critic comments by me:
Overall: 4 out of 5
Comic relief: 4 out of 5
Suspense: 4 out of 5

Must catch okay?

Fun with the band

Went down to Troppo with XL, Lynn and Jasz... We reached there real early... Something around 8... We were so bored that XL and I started playing bluetooth games on our phones. :)

Played pool, a few of touch screen games... Then chatted with Chelsea... Miss Loo and "Mary" (Derek) *Hiaks* We actually asked Chelsea if she's a straight, cause she was using the word "girlfriends" in her sentence... XL and Lynn thought she's a crooked... LOL

Feeling bored, I asked Miss Loo how far she and her bf are in the relationship... The whole conversation was so embaressing... Asked Chelsea if she thinks Thing is handsome, she said yes... Ask if a butch jio her, will she accept... She keep saying won't know... Think she got potential... Hee... Later on, Joy and Thing came to join us... Too bad Joy was sick, can't drink with us...

Talked to Victor for a while after we left Troppo... Then XL went home, while Lynn, Jasz and me went for supper... Wish I could have more outings like this... =P

Deja Vu... Talking crap again??? :P

Did you ever get the feeling that the same thing seemed to happen to you over and over again... That could only mean 2 things... for 1, you may have a very monotonus life... You should always do something new, something more interesting to spruce up your life...

For 2, you could be stressing yourself out... For me, I actually dreamt of things I was gonna do later and end up feeling like I've done it before...

Sometimes, it's something we're prone to do... For me, it's missing bus stops or taking wrong buses... It's kinda frustrating... But it's something that happens... Especially when I'm on my Ngage... LOL...

Memory lane...

Missed my bus stop on the way home from work just now... Had to stop behind my primary school instead... Well... Can't really call it my primary school, cause they took away the town word from the name... LOL

The whole place looks so different now... They expanded both the secondary and primary school area. The piece of grassland where we used to hold our sports day and where we gather during the fire drills is gone. The shortcut was fenced up and the old buildings were gone...

Following the fence around the school, I could see the perimeter of the place... They built up a new hall with a new tuckshop... looks kinda like the one we have in crescent... the whole place's a lot bigger than before... think they got 2 basketball courts...

Anyways... I had lots of fun reminiscing the past... my so called glorious primary school days... hiaks...

It's just never going to stop right???

Sigh... Heard from Shaffie that JS kept emphasizing that I took 1 and a half hour to do the defect's write up... He just can't understand the effort the 3 of us put in... It's a whole new test after all... We gave up our break time, no naps, no food... It was like 5 plus in the morning when he told us to write up...

So there I was, sleepy, tired and hungry... typing a defect which I couldn't even fully understand myself... At least I made the effort to try to maintain my grammer and vocabulary with a 3 quarts dreamy brain.

It's so demoralizing to turn up at work... Think JS would go aroung telling everyone I took 1 and a half hours to write up the defect... Feel like giving up on this dull, boring and monotonous job... Just leave... Like what XL and Lynn are planning...

It's starting to be weary...

XL and Lynn are already job hunting... It's so demoralizing to see my friends quit... Wanted to bring the matter up to Johnson during night shift, but he greeted us with a really black face and a really bad mood...

His face never changed through out the night... The new test instances fail completely... Nothing has gone right...

Had a small chat with Ying on SMS earllier on too... Before I got too busy... Told her about Sat, but she can't make it... Everyone's busy with their own stuff all the time... Sigh...

Sacking in soon... Wanna wish everyone best of luck in pursuing their dreams...

Money fly day...

XL couldn't solve my Ngage problem... bet nobody except nokia could... So I had to take my phone to the nokia care centre... They charged me 26.25 to upgrade my SW... sigh... it's not cheap to buy a 2nd hand phone after all... costed me a whole lot extra... or maybe I'm juz dumb at buying phones... Got to do something about the MMC too... itz not compatible with the SW... Oh ya... Met Frisca too... at MS new foodcourt... then she's supposed to give me a miss call after 8... but she didn't...

I was watching a typical couple quarrel... Typical in my world... 1 is a close friend, the other is a friend as well... it's funny how ppl become sensitive when they see each other for too long... Some things ended up into big quarrels, and breakups become a normal topic to bring up... this is often a sign of a r/s gone sour... Honeymoon ended... Reality bites... The sad truth of humanity...

I personally believe that there's no such thing as a happily ever after... After like 6 different failed r/s... Perhaps I dunno wat true luv is abt, perhaps I have nv experienced true luv... or perhaps there is no true love... humans are like living bodies of imperfecturities... if there is such a word...

In other words, we always feel that we are imperfect... Which is why we start a desperate search for what we lack... If it's loneliness we feel, we search for someone who is wiling to spend time with us... If it's inferioty we feel, we will actually find someone who you feel is more inferior and feel proud of it... we're just like enzymes with a resizeable groove playing jigsaw puzzle to find someone suitable...

Sigh... Because noone is perfect, we never seem to find something that feels right all the time...
That's why humans are always lonely...

Just came back from work... got to stick to this shift till 17 dec... at least that's b4 my bday... Got to find a pt after that...

Rainy holiday...

Had agreed to meet up with Jen earlier on, then she told me we'll be meeting up with Edmund and CL... So we agreed to meet up at PS at 1500 but the traffic jam made me late... :p ended up I reached PS at 1520. then proceeded to play PM... Jen and Alex came over to find me then we went a walking around the mall the short way... in a few mins, we were ready to leave.. LOL

So we went around to meet lots more people... then there was C... turns me off completely when I see him. Johnson was telling us about how he bitched about us night shift ppl behind our backs... He must be jealous... I hate his face!

He was doing the usual "I wanna get close to girls thingy"... Gross... I hate everything about him! Wish I never have to see him again... Left the guys when they wanted to settle down at MOS @ taka, they found a 6 seater table... I'm person number 7... so I left... Hate to be extra... Hate big group outings... Hate C!!!

Never been on such a big group outing since I left HW in like my 21st birthday... I can tell it's gonna be another sad bday...

Power Preaching

Alex told me about pastor Ulf coming for a preaching earlier on, so I was quite excited when he invited me. He was telling me about Hillsong's visit when I wasn't around either... Sad that I missed it.

Anyway, I went ahead on that Saturday after the dealing. Had extremely bad luck when both phones blacked out on me. The Ngage owner was so blur that she didn't even know she had that calibre virus... Then she was being so paranoid the whole time, I got pissed off by her that I just took the phone and left...

Turns out I had to spend extra $ to download the fix. then it had this stupid problem of not being able to add recepient from the contacts list... damn... so suay...

I turned up at indoor stadium... saddened... struggled to read sms with 1 bar of battery... then Johnson called... my phone died instantly... after much struggle, I met up with Alex and we got in.

The usual City Harvest welcome within the cg, settled down... then I saw sis Na... so happy... but din dare to talk to her... whole family around. Then the whole praise and whorship and pst Ulf began his dynamic preaching.

He preached about calling and how we sometimes drift away from it, only to find ourselves empty and longing to come back again... Went str8 into my hrt... took it in... Best part of the whole service was watching pst Ulf pray for the cgls... the whole mini deliverence thing was so cool... then the whole thing wrapped up around 11... got a sight of pst Sun's big belly... think it's gonna be a girl... but someone tole me it might be a boy... hmm...

Back at home...

Here I am... Sitting in the comfort of my home typing this blog...

Nothing much has changed really... I'm back in Johnson's team, working on a vancouver project during night shift... Got promoted... Yeah! But still the same old boring life.

I need to find a part time badly... Can't even support myself... It's a good point cause that's the major thing holding me back from going out to find myself a girlfriend... It's a good thing to be single anyway... I think...

Relationship between me and my brother is still sour... Tried to talk to him nicely, but every single thing he says to me, carrys a hint of sacasism... If that's the way to spell it...

Went to the gym with my mum the on Deepavali... Almost forgot how old she is already... Think the only thing I want is good health for my parents...

Oh... I took part in a singing competition by Herstory recently... Got into the finals (Surprise!!!) but got final 3 positions (sad...) Anyway, I took a look at the pix... Seems like I'm the ugliest... Bluexin and Wendy captain came to support me!!! Together with Lorine and her gf... Thanks for coming to support me when I'm so demoralised... love you guys!!!